My pops

My father looks like Saddam Hussein when he grows out his beard. Has a voice that could be heard easily a mile away and is pretty tall for a Salvadorean.  

I tell many fathers that come into the agency for treatment that the first love of a woman's life is her father. This mean that it can have a positive or detrimental affect on her if you don't treat her right.  The love or lack there of that fathers give our mothers is observed and taken in. From that we can choose what we do and don't want in our relationship ( if we're fortunate enough to be aware of this baggage we carry).

My father loved me immensely as a child, never made me feel like my gender defined who I was or what I should or shouldn't do. My dad let me rock on with my quirky adolescent self. He took me to see the little mermaid as a little girl and now cheers for me when I finish marathons. He is a great gruff of a man with a chewy nougat center.

Feliz dial del Padre, Radio Viejo.

Being a wife

My husband and I were married 6 months ago today. Man time flies! We're technically newlywed but the hubs and I will be celebrating our 6 year "anniversary" in septemberish (a term I'm using loosely  because we don't have an actual anniversary day).

I'm still trying to figure out the whole wife thing out. I know how to be a girlfriend. I got that on lock down! But being a wife is different. The only reference I know about beings wife is what I've learned from the women around me. Some have been cautionary tales, others inspiration, and some a little bit of both. But they were their husbands wives, which means my role as Scott's wife will be different than other women I've known. 

I'm going to take this approach even when I become a mom. I know there are some universal basics to being as good wife: no screwing around with someone else, don't mock him in front of others, be supportive, and support him. Basically do unto him what you want done unto you.

I define being a wife is really about compromising and choosing your battles. Things that would make me blow up before seem trivial, because I have a long life to live with this man of mine, and getting upset over the toilet seat is pretty petty. Being a wife is about learning how to communicate my needs and understanding his.

I often battle between the Christian idea of being a wife, as I 've always associated being a wife with being submissive, unquestioning, and tolerant. God made me none of these. But I'll tell you one thing, I'd give that man my kidney, stand by his side because he is my family now. Being a wife is about spending your life with someone equal yet different than you. Someone you can learn from and can learn from you.  I will be the woman I have always been, the woman that attracted my husband. And that woman will be his wife. I love the man that makes up my husband.

I got a long way to go and I'm still figuring it out, this whole wife-ing thing. I'm pretty sure ill mess up occasionally because I'm human, but I'm gonna give it my 100% because well, in marriage there should be no half assed efforts.