During this time of the year, I always like to take a moment and relive when Scott and I started dating. We have no official start date to dating, and our official anniversary is in December. But this time of the year will always hold a very fond place in my heart.
Everyone thinks that their first love is the love of their life, and for some that might be the case. I thought so too. See, I know it's a news flash but Scott and I probably (most likely) loved other people before we met. Heck I'd hope so, first loves serve as experience and teach us so much about our selves and how we relate to the world around us.
I thought my first love was the love of my life. Until he totally annihilated my tiny 13 year old heart. Yes I believe 13 year old's can fall in love, at least within the capacity of their own 13 year old hearts. Then I thought who I thought was the love of my life was going to my last love. It was a long relationship, tumultuous, and filled with drama. See I believe there are two first loves in your life: the first one is unrequited and the other reciprocated.
My first love taught me a lot of good and bad things about myself: He taught me to appreciate jazz, odd music, and the importance of trust in a relationship. Those are good things I have carried over, because irregardless of how we end our relationships, I hope that we can all take good things away from them as well as the scars they leave us. The bad things I learned about myself were plenty: that I was capable of loosing myself in someone, that I'd prioritize this person over my family and friends, that I'd be willing to sacrifice everything for one person who was not willing to give anything back except only love. Yes, love is very important, but love isn't everything. Love combined with understanding, support, acceptance, inclusion is everything. But love alone isn't sufficient.
Enter my last love: the love of my life. I used to feel that I couldn't call Scott the love of my life because I had pissed away that title on someone else, because I had called someone else that I felt like Scott didn't deserve a second hand statement. I honestly couldn't find a better one, because he deserved something above "love of my life." Scott is my best friend. Hands down homie/thug FO LYFE! Over the past 6 years (6 years by the end of September) I have learned that Scott can be called the love of my life because he is just that. I was simply wrong the first time. I mean honestly, how can I bank on the promise of a deluded 22 year old?
Scott is the love of my life for so many reasons. Mostly because it's more than just love that keeps us together, its everything else that keeps love going that he offers. Companionship, support, inclusion, understanding. In the 6 years we've been together I've never felt like I've needed to compromise who I am to be with him. That is why he is the love of my life.
I love you Scott, happy 6 years this month. May we be blessed with 60 more :)
