That sneaky son of a bitch. My weight has a tendency of sneaking up on me. Next thing I know I'm up a size in pants, and I think nothing of it, until I realize that going up a size means having slowly gained 10lbs over two years. I was at weight watchers over two years ago, and I lost 20 lbs WOOHOO, good for me right? well that 20lbs window lasted abooooooooooout a week, then slowly I've been gaining it back. Part of the blame lands in marathon training. I was really ok with gaining 5 lbs because I was a ravenous beast. I mean it's like impossible to log 25+ miles a week and train without completely loosing your self-control around bread.
The problem is, my marathon ended March 17. Uh, 6 months ago. Everyone tells me "oh you can eat like that, you're a runner." Well the running gets defeated when you're making sweet sweet love to a big mac (GODDAMN THOSE THINGS ARE GOOD!).
GET IN MUH MOUTH!
So here I am : 151.4 lbs and I'm posting it online because today I went back to weight watchers, started a work fitness competition, and 2 months away from my wedding.
I can't loose too much weight this month because I'm getting my dress, and frankly I can't afford to get my dress super altered. So we'll call this an 4 week journey to see how much I can lose, and sustain.
I ran across this article on my facebook feed and my head nearly exploded. EXPLODED!!!! I just can't....I just can't. Why (most) women shouldn't run.
I mean honestly, c'mon, women shoudn't run. Like ever? What if wild beast was chasing me? May my massive hips just screw me? Running can be hard on your knees, don't get me wrong, but that goes for men and women. Loosing a few pounds helped me reduce my knee pain, and now I don't have any problems. But according to the article by Michael Boyle we can't because: titties
There was a time when women straight up couldn't run, and by 'there was a time' I'm talking about recent. Like before 1970's recent. The olympic marathon did not allow women, because they thought it was too strenous for us, and we couldn't hang.
Here's a gem quote for you " Women with larger breasts and wider hips don’t make good runners"
Well, after they found out our uterus' wouldn't fall out if we ran a few miles, it was all good! We have had women like Katherine Switzer sneak into the Boston Marathon because back in the good ol days we were seen unfit.
C'mon man
The blogger didn't write this article, but what gets me is that, as a female athlete, why would she even offer this as advice to other females who run. I mean, most women I know that run don't do it to look like elite runners, they do it because it can help cope with the insanity of life. As a women, let's not encourage this way of thinking that tries to limit women to 'more safe' activities.
Anywho, for all you non-elite runners out there (which is most of us), I hope you ignore this drivel, strap those double D's in to your moving comfort bra (which are the shit), and get running, because women could and SHOULD run.
It was around this time 5 years ago where I found myself at
a very difficult impasse in my life. I was recently graduated from the MFT
program at ULV, engaged, and supposedly packing to move to Mexico by Sept 22
(or around that time) to be with the guy I was supposed to marry. The last year
of that relationship had be incredibly tumultuous. If you ask my mother she
would tell you she heard too many nights me crying on the phone.I had also been going through a 2 year long
transformation back into the person my 18 year old self wanted to be: heading
into a career of helping others, surrounded by family, and on my own. This was
in stark contrast to who I was expecting to be: wife and future Mrs.
In May of that same year (5 years ago) I sat with my black
robe and hood with ULV’s colors waiting for my name to be called. I would walk
up, grab my diploma, and smile. However this moment of my life was fill with
such bittersweet emotions. I kept thinking in my head that this moment, was the
end. The end of my childhood. The end of my home. The end of my family. It was
time for me to grow up and get married, because that’s what you do. I remember
walking out of that stadium to “Somewhere over the Rainbow” and almost crying
at this loss of innocence. I wasn’t ready to grow up and do the grown up things
I had thrusted myself into doing.
Fast forward 4 months, everyday inching closer to my departure date. I had left
a couple of years prior to Mexico
and let me tell you that the pain I felt when I packed my bags was the
equivalent of feeling my soul being ripped out of me. It didn’t even feel like
I was growing, it felt like I was tearing at the stitches that held me
together, tearing at the stitches of my family that had always loved me and
surrounded me. There I was, with clothes I needed to pack, boxes I needed to
label, and a wedding dress hanging in the closet. The invitations sent. The
venue booked. “It’s just cold feet” I told myself.
So what happened, you probably ask, since I’m sitting in
So.Cal and not in Mexico.
Scott. Scott happened. Completely unexpected, completely unplanned, and
completely needed. He wasn’t what changed my mind to call everything off, he
was the match that lit a very very volatile powder keg. I remember sitting
across from him and thinking: his ambition is like my ambition, he is
passionate about what he does (like how I’m passionate about what I do). Scott
made me feel congruent with who I was all within the span of a couple of hours
of having met him. And he hadn’t even kissed me yet or made any passes (so put
those thoughts away). What he made me feel shook me to my core so much that
reevaluated what I thought I had wanted. I didn’t want to leave my family. My
family is my blood life. I didn’t want to leave California. It had taken me 24 years to
learn to appreciate it’s beautiful sunsets, it’s Diet Spring (our winter and
fall), and hell, even it’s traffic. It isn’t’ until you’re about lose all that
you’ve known that you everything you’ve every loved comes into focus.
I stayed for my family.
I stayed for my friends.
I stayed for my career.
And Ultimately, I stayed for Scott.
So here we are 5 years later, 3 months away from getting
married (holy moly 3 months). We don’t have an anniversary, because that
September 5 years ago was such a cluster of emotions that I couldn’t pick out a
date if my life depended on it. I don’t have those fears of needing to grow up
and buckle down, because I’m going to share my life with a man who keeps me in
touch with still being a kid with his humor. I don’t fear losing my family
because they are at least 10 min away driving. As for friends, well if I hadn’t
stayed I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to have the amazing girlfriends I
have in my life now.
Bring on being married, bring on being a Mrs. I don’t mind
it one bit. We’ve spent the last 5 years building a home for 2 (4 if you count
the fur babies), and I look forward to building the next 85 (more if we are
cryogenically frozen) years together.I
no longer fear being tethered to someone, as long as that person I’m tethered
to is Scott.
I’ve been trying to read more female authors as I get more
in touch with this whole Feminist thing. I’m not talking about Feminist books per se,
just books by chicks (that isn’t Chick-lit). I stumbled across Wild through
some lady websites and I thought it looked mighty interesting. I went ahead and
bought in on Amazon (along with 2 other books because hey, you just can’t buy
ONE book).
Well, over my vacation I was able to start and finish Cheryl
Strayed’s book Wild, which is about a 26 year old woman’s lone journey on the
Pacific Crest Trail, which starts in the Mojave Desert and ends in Canada. Cheryl starts
in the Mojave and tracks through California
all the way to Oregon.
Throughout the book she describes her adventures as a very green backpacker and
the people she encounters along the way. There were moments in the book where I
wish I could have been on that trail relishing in the beautiful loneliness of
the woods and arid desert.
I’m not gonna lie, I actually am looking at doing something
like this, maybe not hardcore like Cheryl, but hiking some place and setting up
camp. As I’ve been running more and more outside, I’ve come to appreciate the
peace and tranquility nature brings. Wild does a great job at exploring that,
and also appreciating the beauty of solitude. With so many of us being
constantly connected via Facebook, twitter, tumblr, instagram, etc the idea of
completely void of ALL of that chatter sounds incredibly refreshing. Loneliness
has become synonymous with so many negative connotations that we forget that to
be still with ourselves can really allow us to explore those thoughts we often
push aside, deal with our own nagging voices, and maybe find some deep
realization about ourselves.
If you want to feel like you’re on the PCT (Pacific Crest
Trail) or you want to read about someone’s journey of self-discovery read Wild.
I cant express how much I enjoyed it.
Now, before you right me off as some right wing liberal, let
me just say I’m approaching this from the simple angle that I’m a woman. If you don’t like Obama’s foreign policy,
current economic stance, ‘Obamancare’ I can completely respect that. I honestly don’t know enough about that to
comment about it, so I won’t. But there is something I do know. That if we vote
for Romney/Ryan our rights a female whole will see set backs, and right now our
issues are being peddled as non-issues in comparison to everything else, and
women THEY ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT.
1)Choice
Roe vs. Wade, if you don’t know,
gave women the right to choose to terminate a pregnancy. But Roe vs. Wade means more than that to us
ladies. We, as a whole, have been oppressed over years and have been told how
our bodies should be or shouldn’t be. Roe vs. Wade was about us having control
over our bodies, just like birth control gave us autonomy over our sexuality. Do
you really want a bunch of crusty old dudes saying what you can and can’t do
with your vagina?
Ok, so you don’t believe in
abortion, hey, neither do I, if we’re talking as a means of birth control.
There are multiple ways to avoid pregnancy (abstinence, BC, etc). Many pro-choicers will tell you they
themselves wouldn’t get one, but they want women/girls who find themselves in
desperate situations to have access to terminate a pregnancy without going a la
back alley, which can be incredibly dangerous and deadly. Pro-Life needs to be pro ALL life, even the
mother’s life . A woman’s life needs to be just as valued.
Look at Paul Ryan
C’mon ladies (considering voting
this guy), really? Rape as a “method of
conception.” This guy is along with Romney is looking at making abortion
illegal or incredibly difficult to obtain one. 1 in 4 women is sexually
harassed or assaulted in their lifetime (the numbers are probably far higher).
Those assaults have lead to pregnancy.
If this can put in in perspective line yourself up with 3 other of your girlfriends,
and pick out which one will probably be (or has been) sexually abused,
assaulted, or harassed and tell me if you’d tell them their rape was just a
‘method of conception.’
I realize that some abortions will
come from two consenting adults getting pregnant, however ultimately our own
personal preference can’t interfere with someone elses. Just like you wouldn’t
want someone else telling you what to do, lets do the same for our sisters out
there who are in some difficult situations. Lets NOT vote for someone who will
take away access (or make it very difficult) to a medical procedure that can be
incredibly dangerous without proper medical training. Abortions have been going
on for years, and they will continue going on even if they are outlawed or made
increasingly difficult to get hold of, so why put a woman’s life in danger?
Just because the abortion ban
doesn’t apply to you personally doesn’t mean that it doesn’t apply to another
woman who could find herself in some very difficult situations or be forced to
make a difficult decision.
2)Birthcontrol and preventative care
Romney has talked about cutting funding to Planned
Parenthood, which, contrary to some beliefs offers more than abortions. Planned
Parenthood helped me get free birth control and pap smears when I was 17. Sure
I was on my parents insurance, but I didn’t want them finding out. I got
checked for STD’s regularly with Planned Parenthood, and look at me now 31, not
pregnant, STD free, and pretty upstanding citizen. Planned Parenthood provides
not only access to teens who need support, because lets be real, teens are
going to keep having sex whether we like it or not, but also to mothers and
women who don’t have access to insurance.
I refer my client’s mothers who planned parenthood when I
find out they haven’t seen a gynecologist in years. Do we want someone who will
cut funding that helps women out as much as planned parenthood? Don’t buy into
the hype that all they do is provide abortions, they also provide medical
support to women of low socioeconomic status who so desperately need these
services.
3)Equal Pay for equal work
The Republican SENATE BLOCKED the move to close loopholes in
the Equal Pay Act. They blocked it, do you want President who represents a
party that would be all “hey women, we don’t want to pay you the same as men? “
Like, that’s NOT COOL. When asked,
Romney simply stated that ‘they’d get back to us on that.’
I know there are some great Republicans out there, and I
fear that those of you that are reasonable are being poorly represented by this
extreme right that is very vocal. But
women, lets stand up for each other (and
for women who are so often oppressed and denied access to what they need) and
for our basic rights to equal pay, access to free birth control, preventative
care, and freedom of choice. We are not 2nd class citizens to be
denied these things. If you don’t like
Obama, don’t like him, but like his support of Women. Vote for a candidate that
supports you as an equal citizen, not one that needs her body and her check to
be policed. There will be dire consequences for women (not just you) everywhere
if Romney and the Republicans win.
I just finished reading How to be a Woman by Caitlin Moran. It’s a book on being a woman and feminism,
and it’s hilarious. I literally LOL’d while reading it. The book delves into
body image, women in pornography, periods, pubes, marriage, children, and abortion.
I have to say I found this a very enjoyable book for people wanting to explore
feminism.
On being (becoming) a
woman
While reading the book I explored my own thoughts of how I
became a woman and when that moment happened. I remember when I got my first
period my mom basically said “well you’re a woman now.” I didn’t feel like a
woman in my LA gears. I mean I still held an extreme fascination to mermaids (I’m
not gonna lie, I still like mermaids). So when did it happen? When I think of being
a woman I think of someone with wisdom and knowledge. My mom is a woman, Hilary Clinton is a woman, Oprah is a woman.
Me, I still at times feel like I’m sneaking around in my mom’s high heel
shoes. Becoming a woman is more of a
transformative life long journey.
On Plastic Surgery
Moran had some pretty strong words against plastic surgery
and was at times very critical about it. This is one point I’m going to have to
disagree with her on. I’m all for plastic surgery, and frankly when I’m done
having kids I won’t be opposed to a little nip/tuck where I feel like I’ll need
it. She discusses it as a reaction of fear, but for me personally I just want
my boobs to be back where they were when I’m done rearing my kids. I’m not
afraid, I’m just a little vain.
On feminism
I am a feminist. I..am..a feminist. I actually have been
trying to get used to saying “I am a feminist” for a while because of the
negative connotations that come associated with being a feminist. Let me tell
you what a feminist isn’t:
Do you have any idea, any idea how
expensive a bra is? If you’re a woman you know and you know you would never
ever burn one, let alone a decent one. Moran discusses in length about how bras are our friends (at least a good bra that doesn't cut into your rib cage)
"The relief of taking off a bad
bra is immeasurable. It is also the measure of your friendships. If you would
feel comfortable going round to someone’s house at the end of a long day, and
saying, “I’m just going to take my bra off,” you know you are intimate friends. Of course, on occasion bad bra removal has to happen in a
more urgent location. I have seen women taking bras off in cabs on their way
back from clubs; women taking bras off in cabs that are still outside clubs. I
once saw it happen at a bus stop, outside a bar on Camden High Street. So to any idiot who says, “You a feminist? Do you burn your
bras, then, huh? HUH? You burn your bras, you feminist?” you must reply,
calmly, “Fool. FOOL. Bra is my friend. My bosomest buddy. Except for that
balcony-cup Janet Reger one that cut off the circulation to my head. Yeah. That
one. I covered that one in petrol and torched it outside the American Embassy" -Caitlin Moran, How to Be a Woman
2)Man Haters
Feminist don’t hate men, they hate
misogyny (which women can be just as guilty in perpetuating) and patriarchy that often oppresses women.Feminist
hate it when guys like Paul Ryan tries to define rape, or when men in congress
try to tell us what to do.Moran states
that if you 1) have a vagina 2) want to be in control of said vagina then you’re
a feminist.
Feminism isn’t about hating another gender because that
doesn’t do us or anyone any good. Hate does no one good. Feminism is about
being offered choices as women. There was a time where women were just expected
to stay home with the kids with no other options. Feminism has allowed us to
branch out from that if we want. We can stay at home, we can work, and this is
awesome my lady friends!
Feminism is simply about fairness and choice. I am a
Feminist.
On the Book:
Overall I enjoyed the hell out of this book, it was my brand of feminism I can get fully behind. Its the kind of book you want to read during this 3rd wave of feminism we're seeing. Go out and read this book, I'm looking at you too guys.
“I’m neither ‘pro-women’ nor ‘anti-men’. I’m just ‘Thumbs up for the six billion”- Caitlin Moran
Apparently last night there was an earthquake of 4.5, which is strongish I guess. I didn't feel it, but Disco felt it and looked me all wild eyed and accusatory, like some how I had managed to conjure the earth to shake just to frighten her.
"STOP, DROP, AND ROLL, NO WAIT THAT'S NOT IT!!!"
There was another one this morning, 4.5. THAT ONE I felt. I was making some food and it was all shakey. Since my apartment building was built in the days of the Rat Pack you can feel everything move just by having a 5 year old walk infront of your apartment on the second story.
I think a lot of us Californians are kind of jaded when it comes to earthquakes. Yeah they startle us, but I think it takes a lot to frighten us. This makes me ask the question we (earthquake experiencers) have:
At what point to you run out of your building?
I was at a farmer boys once with the boyfriend and there was a 5. something. It went on for a bit and we just stayed really still (Like somehow us staying really still and quiet will somehow give us an indication of how long this shaking is going to last) and waited.
Do you wait until you see dry wall dust fall from the ceiling? Do you wait until shit starts breaking?
What is the second marker when you think, ok, that's it, I should probably leave now? 10 sec? 8 sec? 2 sec? (the 2 second runs I see most common in people who have never experienced an earthquake).
I remember an earthquake when I was around 7 years old. I ran to my parents room because I was scared and the floor, I kid you not, was ondulating. IN A WAVE!!! So creepy. I can't remember the intensity of that one but it felt strong. We actually got out of the house, that's how bad it was. To have two parents who were born and raised in El Salvador where the earthquakes are catastrophic (none of thiss 4.5 crap, we're talking 7.5 and up) to have them run out of their house (that isn't made of cinderblocks) takes an impressive jolt.
At my job we all look at each other assessing who is going to loose it first, which sucks because we're all therapists and we've been conditioned to hide our emotions in stressful situations. So we may all just die in this blue building.
For the mean while, as this day progresses I'll be thinking more about the emergency earthquake kits for cats and how the hell I plan on getting them out of the apartment should a big one hit.
