Woah, it's April, screw that, it's actually May, this day is half way over. Let's just call today May already. Its been many months, 6 to be exact, since I last typed. I've had so many thoughts as to what direction to take this blog that I am so neglectful of. I was thinking of starting another one called "Paws and Pens" focusing on this new marital adventure I'm embarking, but then that would just be a 3rd blog I have started and would potentially fail to follow up on. So why flake out on a third when I can sporadically flake out on this one. Let's catch up with what I've been up to these past 6 months:
1) The Dude and The Lady get married: We had decided to stop living in sin and got hitched in December. It was a beautiful day! Let me tell you, I look back at the pictures and relive the excitement and utter stress that was planning this day. I have never been so happy to see my groom than when I saw him at the end of that aisle because it meant that the insanity of a year of half of planning was drawing to an end. We still haven't taken our honeymoon because my job sucks like that, so we'll see what the summer brings us.
Kitty Favors that we gave our Guests (Left: Dr. Unagi Righ: Disco)
2) I ran the LA marathon again: And I PR'd that shit! I shaved 30 minutes of my time. With everything that happened in Boston, I wish I could qualify so I could run next year in solidarity, but alas, I'm supah slow.
3) I passed one of two state exams: I'm trying to get licensed in California to remove the I from the MFTI I constantly have to sign. Last year I failed this test by 1 point. 1 POINT!!! Needless to say I drowned my sorrows in tears and fried macaroni balls from Cheesecake factory. When I passed I went back to the Cheesecake and ate those macaroni balls with the taste of victory in my mouth. TAKE THAT BBS! I can't get too cocky though, I have to pass my next exam.
4) Dr. Unagi gets asthma: When I heard her awful coughs The Hubs (i.e. The Dude) and I thougt the worse. We thought for sure this big fat tuxedo cat would have some congenital heart disease. We took her to the vet and turns out she and I have something else in common other than our love for belly rubs and catnip. Dr. Unagi has allergies which triggers asthma attacks and some pretty bad dandruff. We now have to give her this disgusting medicine that makes her puke, but will keep the asthma and dermititis at bay.
What are my plans for 2013, well I'm not promising anything, except reflections on running (like I was doing before) and incorporating more musings regarding therapy and mental health issues. Oh, and cats, more blogging about cats, because cats are great!
I haven’t written in a while, forgive
me. Today is the first day of Dia De Los Muertos (Day of the Dead).Today I am filled with Mexican memories.
Puebla at times has similar weather to Ontario, although I swear they actually
get their fall more pronounced than what we are currently experiencing, but I digress.
Dia de Los Muertos is a day when all the dead come back to say “sup.” Day of
the dead spans the first two days of November, with many families setting up
altars to their loved ones who have passed away. Altars are usually brimming
with color! Pinks, purples, orange, reds! Gorgeous!
They line the altars with cempasúchil,
which is a yellow/orange marigold. A lot of altars have a trail of cempasúchil
(Flower of the Dead) so that the dead
know how to get back to their homes. The altars have ‘pan de muerto’ , tequila, or other favorite foods of the
deceased. Calaveras are seen grinning from ear to ear! I’m bringing it up
today, because I am always flooded with memories of my aunt, my Tia Cheny.
My mother exposed me to Mexican
culture at a very young age, often taking me to visit my aunt and cousins when I
was 6-7 years old. My first memories of Mexico was that of my aunt handing my
sugared calavera, which I swear got bigger and bigger every year. One year she
got me one with my name on it. I was reminded of the cold breeze in Puebla in
the evening during this time of the year and eating Churros con chocolate in ‘El
Porton’ (Like a Mexican Denny’s). Most of the warmest memories I have of Mexico
relate to my aunt and my cousins and this time of the year. Maybe that’s why I
associate November/Decemnber with my family. I remember going one year during
Dia de los Muertos and we went to this town that lied about 40 min out of
Puebla. The town opened their doors to
visitors to see their altars. We went from house to house, we were offered hot
chocolate, tamales, mole, and bread.
La Catrina
Dia de los Muertos is about
celebrating life, laughing at death (as seen through the Catrina). Outsiders
may see this as morbid, but it is a beautiful tradition. I hope some day Scott
and our kids can visit the altars, maybe visit the cemeteries (which have been
filled with mariachis serenading the departed), smell the burnt incense, and treat our kids to some churros con chocolate afte they have eaten their queso fundido.
That sneaky son of a bitch. My weight has a tendency of sneaking up on me. Next thing I know I'm up a size in pants, and I think nothing of it, until I realize that going up a size means having slowly gained 10lbs over two years. I was at weight watchers over two years ago, and I lost 20 lbs WOOHOO, good for me right? well that 20lbs window lasted abooooooooooout a week, then slowly I've been gaining it back. Part of the blame lands in marathon training. I was really ok with gaining 5 lbs because I was a ravenous beast. I mean it's like impossible to log 25+ miles a week and train without completely loosing your self-control around bread.
The problem is, my marathon ended March 17. Uh, 6 months ago. Everyone tells me "oh you can eat like that, you're a runner." Well the running gets defeated when you're making sweet sweet love to a big mac (GODDAMN THOSE THINGS ARE GOOD!).
GET IN MUH MOUTH!
So here I am : 151.4 lbs and I'm posting it online because today I went back to weight watchers, started a work fitness competition, and 2 months away from my wedding.
I can't loose too much weight this month because I'm getting my dress, and frankly I can't afford to get my dress super altered. So we'll call this an 4 week journey to see how much I can lose, and sustain.
I ran across this article on my facebook feed and my head nearly exploded. EXPLODED!!!! I just can't....I just can't. Why (most) women shouldn't run.
I mean honestly, c'mon, women shoudn't run. Like ever? What if wild beast was chasing me? May my massive hips just screw me? Running can be hard on your knees, don't get me wrong, but that goes for men and women. Loosing a few pounds helped me reduce my knee pain, and now I don't have any problems. But according to the article by Michael Boyle we can't because: titties
There was a time when women straight up couldn't run, and by 'there was a time' I'm talking about recent. Like before 1970's recent. The olympic marathon did not allow women, because they thought it was too strenous for us, and we couldn't hang.
Here's a gem quote for you " Women with larger breasts and wider hips don’t make good runners"
Well, after they found out our uterus' wouldn't fall out if we ran a few miles, it was all good! We have had women like Katherine Switzer sneak into the Boston Marathon because back in the good ol days we were seen unfit.
C'mon man
The blogger didn't write this article, but what gets me is that, as a female athlete, why would she even offer this as advice to other females who run. I mean, most women I know that run don't do it to look like elite runners, they do it because it can help cope with the insanity of life. As a women, let's not encourage this way of thinking that tries to limit women to 'more safe' activities.
Anywho, for all you non-elite runners out there (which is most of us), I hope you ignore this drivel, strap those double D's in to your moving comfort bra (which are the shit), and get running, because women could and SHOULD run.
It was around this time 5 years ago where I found myself at
a very difficult impasse in my life. I was recently graduated from the MFT
program at ULV, engaged, and supposedly packing to move to Mexico by Sept 22
(or around that time) to be with the guy I was supposed to marry. The last year
of that relationship had be incredibly tumultuous. If you ask my mother she
would tell you she heard too many nights me crying on the phone.I had also been going through a 2 year long
transformation back into the person my 18 year old self wanted to be: heading
into a career of helping others, surrounded by family, and on my own. This was
in stark contrast to who I was expecting to be: wife and future Mrs.
In May of that same year (5 years ago) I sat with my black
robe and hood with ULV’s colors waiting for my name to be called. I would walk
up, grab my diploma, and smile. However this moment of my life was fill with
such bittersweet emotions. I kept thinking in my head that this moment, was the
end. The end of my childhood. The end of my home. The end of my family. It was
time for me to grow up and get married, because that’s what you do. I remember
walking out of that stadium to “Somewhere over the Rainbow” and almost crying
at this loss of innocence. I wasn’t ready to grow up and do the grown up things
I had thrusted myself into doing.
Fast forward 4 months, everyday inching closer to my departure date. I had left
a couple of years prior to Mexico
and let me tell you that the pain I felt when I packed my bags was the
equivalent of feeling my soul being ripped out of me. It didn’t even feel like
I was growing, it felt like I was tearing at the stitches that held me
together, tearing at the stitches of my family that had always loved me and
surrounded me. There I was, with clothes I needed to pack, boxes I needed to
label, and a wedding dress hanging in the closet. The invitations sent. The
venue booked. “It’s just cold feet” I told myself.
So what happened, you probably ask, since I’m sitting in
So.Cal and not in Mexico.
Scott. Scott happened. Completely unexpected, completely unplanned, and
completely needed. He wasn’t what changed my mind to call everything off, he
was the match that lit a very very volatile powder keg. I remember sitting
across from him and thinking: his ambition is like my ambition, he is
passionate about what he does (like how I’m passionate about what I do). Scott
made me feel congruent with who I was all within the span of a couple of hours
of having met him. And he hadn’t even kissed me yet or made any passes (so put
those thoughts away). What he made me feel shook me to my core so much that
reevaluated what I thought I had wanted. I didn’t want to leave my family. My
family is my blood life. I didn’t want to leave California. It had taken me 24 years to
learn to appreciate it’s beautiful sunsets, it’s Diet Spring (our winter and
fall), and hell, even it’s traffic. It isn’t’ until you’re about lose all that
you’ve known that you everything you’ve every loved comes into focus.
I stayed for my family.
I stayed for my friends.
I stayed for my career.
And Ultimately, I stayed for Scott.
So here we are 5 years later, 3 months away from getting
married (holy moly 3 months). We don’t have an anniversary, because that
September 5 years ago was such a cluster of emotions that I couldn’t pick out a
date if my life depended on it. I don’t have those fears of needing to grow up
and buckle down, because I’m going to share my life with a man who keeps me in
touch with still being a kid with his humor. I don’t fear losing my family
because they are at least 10 min away driving. As for friends, well if I hadn’t
stayed I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to have the amazing girlfriends I
have in my life now.
Bring on being married, bring on being a Mrs. I don’t mind
it one bit. We’ve spent the last 5 years building a home for 2 (4 if you count
the fur babies), and I look forward to building the next 85 (more if we are
cryogenically frozen) years together.I
no longer fear being tethered to someone, as long as that person I’m tethered
to is Scott.
I’ve been trying to read more female authors as I get more
in touch with this whole Feminist thing. I’m not talking about Feminist books per se,
just books by chicks (that isn’t Chick-lit). I stumbled across Wild through
some lady websites and I thought it looked mighty interesting. I went ahead and
bought in on Amazon (along with 2 other books because hey, you just can’t buy
ONE book).
Well, over my vacation I was able to start and finish Cheryl
Strayed’s book Wild, which is about a 26 year old woman’s lone journey on the
Pacific Crest Trail, which starts in the Mojave Desert and ends in Canada. Cheryl starts
in the Mojave and tracks through California
all the way to Oregon.
Throughout the book she describes her adventures as a very green backpacker and
the people she encounters along the way. There were moments in the book where I
wish I could have been on that trail relishing in the beautiful loneliness of
the woods and arid desert.
I’m not gonna lie, I actually am looking at doing something
like this, maybe not hardcore like Cheryl, but hiking some place and setting up
camp. As I’ve been running more and more outside, I’ve come to appreciate the
peace and tranquility nature brings. Wild does a great job at exploring that,
and also appreciating the beauty of solitude. With so many of us being
constantly connected via Facebook, twitter, tumblr, instagram, etc the idea of
completely void of ALL of that chatter sounds incredibly refreshing. Loneliness
has become synonymous with so many negative connotations that we forget that to
be still with ourselves can really allow us to explore those thoughts we often
push aside, deal with our own nagging voices, and maybe find some deep
realization about ourselves.
If you want to feel like you’re on the PCT (Pacific Crest
Trail) or you want to read about someone’s journey of self-discovery read Wild.
I cant express how much I enjoyed it.
Now, before you right me off as some right wing liberal, let
me just say I’m approaching this from the simple angle that I’m a woman. If you don’t like Obama’s foreign policy,
current economic stance, ‘Obamancare’ I can completely respect that. I honestly don’t know enough about that to
comment about it, so I won’t. But there is something I do know. That if we vote
for Romney/Ryan our rights a female whole will see set backs, and right now our
issues are being peddled as non-issues in comparison to everything else, and
women THEY ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT.
1)Choice
Roe vs. Wade, if you don’t know,
gave women the right to choose to terminate a pregnancy. But Roe vs. Wade means more than that to us
ladies. We, as a whole, have been oppressed over years and have been told how
our bodies should be or shouldn’t be. Roe vs. Wade was about us having control
over our bodies, just like birth control gave us autonomy over our sexuality. Do
you really want a bunch of crusty old dudes saying what you can and can’t do
with your vagina?
Ok, so you don’t believe in
abortion, hey, neither do I, if we’re talking as a means of birth control.
There are multiple ways to avoid pregnancy (abstinence, BC, etc). Many pro-choicers will tell you they
themselves wouldn’t get one, but they want women/girls who find themselves in
desperate situations to have access to terminate a pregnancy without going a la
back alley, which can be incredibly dangerous and deadly. Pro-Life needs to be pro ALL life, even the
mother’s life . A woman’s life needs to be just as valued.
Look at Paul Ryan
C’mon ladies (considering voting
this guy), really? Rape as a “method of
conception.” This guy is along with Romney is looking at making abortion
illegal or incredibly difficult to obtain one. 1 in 4 women is sexually
harassed or assaulted in their lifetime (the numbers are probably far higher).
Those assaults have lead to pregnancy.
If this can put in in perspective line yourself up with 3 other of your girlfriends,
and pick out which one will probably be (or has been) sexually abused,
assaulted, or harassed and tell me if you’d tell them their rape was just a
‘method of conception.’
I realize that some abortions will
come from two consenting adults getting pregnant, however ultimately our own
personal preference can’t interfere with someone elses. Just like you wouldn’t
want someone else telling you what to do, lets do the same for our sisters out
there who are in some difficult situations. Lets NOT vote for someone who will
take away access (or make it very difficult) to a medical procedure that can be
incredibly dangerous without proper medical training. Abortions have been going
on for years, and they will continue going on even if they are outlawed or made
increasingly difficult to get hold of, so why put a woman’s life in danger?
Just because the abortion ban
doesn’t apply to you personally doesn’t mean that it doesn’t apply to another
woman who could find herself in some very difficult situations or be forced to
make a difficult decision.
2)Birthcontrol and preventative care
Romney has talked about cutting funding to Planned
Parenthood, which, contrary to some beliefs offers more than abortions. Planned
Parenthood helped me get free birth control and pap smears when I was 17. Sure
I was on my parents insurance, but I didn’t want them finding out. I got
checked for STD’s regularly with Planned Parenthood, and look at me now 31, not
pregnant, STD free, and pretty upstanding citizen. Planned Parenthood provides
not only access to teens who need support, because lets be real, teens are
going to keep having sex whether we like it or not, but also to mothers and
women who don’t have access to insurance.
I refer my client’s mothers who planned parenthood when I
find out they haven’t seen a gynecologist in years. Do we want someone who will
cut funding that helps women out as much as planned parenthood? Don’t buy into
the hype that all they do is provide abortions, they also provide medical
support to women of low socioeconomic status who so desperately need these
services.
3)Equal Pay for equal work
The Republican SENATE BLOCKED the move to close loopholes in
the Equal Pay Act. They blocked it, do you want President who represents a
party that would be all “hey women, we don’t want to pay you the same as men? “
Like, that’s NOT COOL. When asked,
Romney simply stated that ‘they’d get back to us on that.’
I know there are some great Republicans out there, and I
fear that those of you that are reasonable are being poorly represented by this
extreme right that is very vocal. But
women, lets stand up for each other (and
for women who are so often oppressed and denied access to what they need) and
for our basic rights to equal pay, access to free birth control, preventative
care, and freedom of choice. We are not 2nd class citizens to be
denied these things. If you don’t like
Obama, don’t like him, but like his support of Women. Vote for a candidate that
supports you as an equal citizen, not one that needs her body and her check to
be policed. There will be dire consequences for women (not just you) everywhere
if Romney and the Republicans win.
