YOS: LA Marathon is BACK!

LA Marathon training is fast approaching. If at any point you thought: “I’d like to do a marathon some day” this is your chance!
Let me answer some of your pressing questions:

But Dre-Dog, I can’t even run a mile, how can I run 26?

26.2 Silly unicorn! 26.2! That’s ok, because guess what no one is asking you to run 26.2 miles right now. I mean you will eventually have to, but not like, right now.

Bitchez be trippin

Ah, but Ms Saavedra (if your nasty), I can’t run because (insert reason here), how can you expect me to run 26. 2?

-nuff said.

he makes us all look bad

P.S. There are run walk training programs for marathons.

I see you’ve shamed me into maybe slightly considering running a marathon, what is this training program you speak of?

 I will swear by LA Roadrunners program. It is very thorough and you get a chance to run/walk with people whom you can keep up with. It can be intimidating at first when you think “there is no way I can keep up with them” until you realize that they are just as slow or fast as you are. And you’re all working towards the same goal.

Click for more info

I don't think you'll come across a lot of people who wills they regret running a marathon. They'll regret singing up for it, training for it, and right at mile 20, but when they're done they wont say "hey I wish I had never done that."

It is an amazing sense of accomplishment that I will be participating again soon.

ALSO if you say you still can't run the full, I think they have the relay option again this year. This option allows you to run a portion of the full (1/2 of it to be exact) and still earn the medal. 

Bra Burning: Outsourcing Self Esteem

I can watch this gif all day

I've been feeling like shit this week. Criticizing every aspect of my body, nitpicking what's dimply, whats wobbly, and what's not perfect. The culmination of this self-loathing lead to a moment while I was buttering up a cinnamon thingy toasty bar for dinner. I broke down and cried. I cried out of frustration that I had felt so unattractive. I cried because I haven't felt sexy in years. I cried because I had bought into the bullshit that is peddled to women since we were young: if you aren't pretty you aren't anything.

 It made me mad  that I had placed my own sexual attraction and feeling valued outside of my own control. It pissed me off that I had completely let pictures of lean women, photo shopped women to make me feel like crap.  I some how had thought that I wasn't sexy if I wasn't waxed enough, thin enough, or defined enough. Even more so, I had compared myself to women who are overly represented in the media (Caucasian chicks). I'm not White. I'm Latin. I'm curvy, why couldn't I accept that? I know I'm not the only women who looks at herself in the mirror and plays "lets see what's wrong with me." How do we stop this and help our daughters feel comfortable in their own skin.

More Women of Color and Shape!


I think I place more emphasis on the women of shape, because even when we see women of color on TV they are svelte and thin.  In watching the Olympics you see women who are not considered 'beautiful' by what the media tells us, and they are INCREDIBLE athletes who's bodies have been fine tuned for excellence in their field. Some of these women are thin and strong, big and strong, or tiny and strong.  Yet we'll associate some of these traits as masculine and 'unattractive.'

look up big booty bitches

Take Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lopez, Kate Upton. Many people would define them as "feminine" where as Serena Williams, Kayla Harrison, Missy Franklin body types would be considered "less feminine." Why can't they both be just as feminine. We need to challenge the perspective that being 'feminine' as looking a certain way.

I'm saying we need big booties, little booties, big boobs, small boobs, big backs, small backs, deemed as beautiful.

Changing the dialogue


I've had women sit across from me in therapy tell me that they try to help their daughters by telling them they're beautiful. It gets under my skin because you're showing your daughter that the only way they can feel better is if they hear they are pretty. I often tell these moms that there is nothing wrong with saying that, but try to add something with more sustenance like complementing a quality or a skill along with being pretty.

We've been so ingrained to do this, that even when we here are girlfriends complaining about how they feel in relation to how they look we will often say "But you're so pretty." We repeat the cycle for putting our emotional well being in looking good. I know for me it started to wear thin and I thought "there has to be more to me feeling better about myself than just looking a certain way."

total badass

Let us praise the women in our lives not just by their looks but by their bad ass accomplishments.

Redefining Beauty/Femininity


Performing femininity is the act of behaving, dressing, and acting a way that is deemd "normal female behavior." We're looking at you high heel shoes, painful waxing, hair curlers, and make up. It's ingrained in us, so much so, that I know personally I will probably not be able to stop performing femininity. Anything that doesn't fall in that realm of what is considered normal is considered masculine, negative, or abnormal.

Femininity conjures up images of softness, bouncy, princessy, unicorn-ness. We've internalized the patriarchal ideal of beauty (because mostly men have decided what is beautiful and what is not). Lets take back our own definition of beauty. Let feminine be a large spectrum from super princessy to whatever the complete opposite of that is (if there even is an opposite). We can absorb some 'masculine' traits and still be women, just like men can absorb some feminine traits and still be men (this is another topic for another day)


Stop the Outsourcing

We (us lady folks) need to stop putting the job of our self-worth outside of us in the hands of others and in the hands of society. Don't get me wrong, I wont yell at you if you want to compliment me on my earlobes, but I don't want to break down and cry when I don't feel my earlobes aren't pretty, thin, enough.

It's difficult, and I think as I continue to embark the learning process of where I stand with Feminism and where Feminism stands with me these kind of issues will sit around in my head. I have to continue working to counter act all cognitive distortions that are related to the messages I've received. My face and figure do not define me. I define me.

YOS: Running away the Crazy

A recent article from England's University of Bristol said that exercise doesn't reduce any symptoms of depression. I call bullshit. Having had depressive episodes in my life (3 to be exact), I have found that running has helped me tremendously in keeping any new depressive episodes from popping up. 

I haven't worked out in a week and I feel like crap tonight. Filled with more self-doubt then I'd like to be and more cognitive distortions than are probably healthy. I wont let it last, I'll be working out again on Sunday (for some reason I can't seem to start on a Saturday. I think it's because my Weight Watchers points start on Sunday- oh well).  

Running allows me to focus in on what matters, because you can't focus on anything but avoiding pain or discomfort. Running (or whatever your exercise of choice is) allows all the superfluous crap in your life fades away in the background and you get solutions. You get clarity. The moment you find an exercise that allows that for you DON'T STOP DOING IT. 

I'm going to allow my pity party of one today (although I'm pretty miserable to be around when I'm in this state). 

Year of the Sneaker: Respect the Run

The new season of running is coming upon me (us- if your reading this blog). It starts with my 1st 1/2 marathon this Labor Day weekend. It's the Disney 1/2 and I'm hoping I can break my P.R. Considering my current long run time, this may be possible, but you can't cocky.

I want on an 11 mile run yesterday, my goal was to finish it in an 1:50, but 1:51 isn't so bad! average 10:06 min pace, which means I could beat my time. It was a very difficult run, with 1/2 of it being up hill (the green is the elevation)

As I was running and kicking some butt I kept thinking," I can beat my PR, totally." But you have to respect the race. I remember going into a run once, having done multiple 1/2 at that point, and thinking "I've got this." well needless to say, I didn't. I got my ass handed to me, it was hot, I was sore, my knee hurt, it just was NOT pleasant.

I'm pretty excited to see what new goals Disney 1/2 will bring me

Life Lessons: The importance of Passion

Today was a bit disheartening at work. I won’t go into it, but needless  to say, I began to contemplate passion and drive and its importance in doing what you do.  The wisest advice my father gave me is ‘love what you do.’ This great man instilled me with great sense of work ethic, but most importantly the importance of loving it. Coming from a man who’s an accountant, this means a lot because you know…it’s accounting.  When he was growing up he choose book keeping because his mother had told him it was lucrative. When my aunt and uncle were growing up, they were told they should study medicine because it was a good field. I know that these three great individuals would have chosen something else. My dad: a cook, my uncle: an architect or designer, my aunt: that I don’t know, I wish I was given the chance to ask her. I think he has pushed this point across because I think if he had felt more in control of the situation he would have chosen something different.

So here I am, 31 (almost) always thinking about what I’M passionate about. Because when you’re passionate about something,  the money will come. Why? because you will do so willingly and well. I’ve turned down positions because they weren’t what I wanted. I feel like I’m at a stage in my life where I can ask “is this what I’m passionate about” as opposed to “how much money is this going to make me.” Don’t get me wrong, money is awesome and I may not take a pay cut, BUT I will definitely ask myself “is this what I want to do.”  

Fear is the biggest extinguisher of passion to venture out. I know I’m guilty of it, and I battle with tons of “buts” and excuses, but I do strive to do what I love. When the passion runs out, then it’s time to step back, breath and ask yourself : Is this really what I want to do with my life?  Maybe yes, maybe no, maybe you just need a break, or maybe you just need to direct your passion in a different direction. 

Rather than be discouraged about what happened today, I will see this as an opportunity to further propel myself in the direction I want to go in, not in the one I’m forced to go in.  I have found that when I’m not ‘still with God’ and push something that it normally falls apart. I’ve had to learn that I can’t force something. I need to pray and run (I do some of my most intense prayers and request while running).  I have found it helpful to tell myself to be patient and ask myself :

1)      Are you making a decision because you are angry at an outcome?

2)      Are you opting to not make a choice because you’re comfortable

3)      Are you afraid?

4)      Does this decision help you meet your own personal /professional ‘bottom line.”

For right now, I will wait, but not for long, because I feel like some changes are coming, and although they are scary, I’m pretty excited.

Are you a MexiCan or a MexiCan't: Oaxaca

I'm watching Mexico, One Plate at a Time. It's cheesy as hell, but the main dude cooks dishes from Mexico with his daughter (who is barely tolerable in her cheesiness). I'm brought back to my many trips to Mexico and aaaaaaaaaaaall the awesome food I got to eat there. Being of Salvadorean background, there has been at times that I have had to hear about the animosity/rivalry between Mexicans and Salvadoreans, which I've never understood. Mexico is beautiful, El Salvador is Beautiful! Both their dishes are AMAZING! But today is my ode to Mexico, mostly because I have spent a considerable amount of time there, and watching this show has brought back many beautiful culinary memories filled that intertwine with the amazing women in my family. Today I thought of Oaxaca.

Oaxaca is this beautiful sleepy city which amazing Catholic churches in green limestone, bugambilia lined court yards, and the breath taking pyramids of Monte Alban. I had the luxury of being able to road trip through this  beautiful state with my cousins all the way to the beach. One moment your in desert- like areas and BOOM tropical forest! While in Oaxaca I got to body surf on the beaches of Puerto Escondido, tan near a turtle sanctuary, and go day unfortunately without bathing (not by choice)

The Grub

Tlayuda

Tlayuda (TLah-You-Dah) is magical. The first time I ate one was with my mother in the city of Oaxaca. A tlayuda is a big tortilla that's been toasted with black beans on top. It is layered with steak and Oaxacan cheese. The cheese from Oaxaca is my Achilles heal. The cheese melts beautifully! My cousins and I would often make late night quesadillas in my aunts kitchen with this cheese. And yes you see correctly, it is a ball of cheese. HOW AWESOME IS THAT! 

BALL-O-CHEESE

Now, if you ever get a chance to go to Oaxaca, go to the market place. It's a pretty big tourist hot spot, but man, if you can have a tlayuda followed by a pan with chocolate, your mind will be blown. The chocolate is rich and the bread is 'bland' so you can dip it in the chocolate. You soak the bread with the chocolate and eat away. I seriously can taste it now. 

I feel so blessed to have experience this, and it breaks my heart to see all the turmoil and violence my Mexican brothers and sisters are going through. It's such a beautiful, rich country, that to see it marred is disheartening. I hope that in my life time people will stop associating Mexico with violence. Mexico to me has become synonymous with positive female energy and woman camaraderie. My mother would take me and we'd see the painting of Frida Khalo. My aunt (may she rest in peace) would make fresh orange juice, cut me fresh jicama, all the while being a badass doctor that worked hard to help her patients . My cousins and I would gossip, relive messed up dates, and try to solve all our love problems over a tiny table in my aunts kitchen. When I speak of Mexico, I can't help but think of emotion, and food. Food should always be an emotional experience: beautiful, rich, and tasty.

AAAND I'm Back!

Well, at least I hope so. It gets hard for me to be consistent with my writing but my future SIL kind of inspired me to start it up again.Sept 2nd, 2012 I go back to the beginning. The Disneyland 1/2 Marathon. One year ago I began my official journey to running and since then I've done 3 1/2 marathons and a full marathon. Starting September I plan on starting training for LA again, except picking up my speed. The last 10 miler I did I ran in 1:37 which doesn't seem super good, but considering I was running a 10.5 min mile, I'm pretty proud of myself. I need to be better about speed training. I've upped my cardio to 1.5 hours 4x week (running, spinning, and ellipitcal). 

I'm excited...super excited :D

2011 Medal